International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day
November 20, 2022 is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day. In honor of this day, Erin Gallagher, Interim Executive Director of This Is My Brave writes about her experiences as a suicide loss survivor. In this piece, she reflects on the death of her son Jay, who died six years ago at the age of 18.
Grief is an especially difficult journey. Grief associated with child loss is even more acute. The grief of a parent who has lost a child to suicide can be crippling.
I have lived with that grief daily since February of 2016, when my 18 year old son Jay took his own life. I described what that experience has been like for me in a blog post last year.
But my grief has been compounded even more by the circumstances surrounding Jay’s death.
I don’t often speak of those circumstances. In fact, I often divide the way I talk about Jay and his story into two versions. The first is The Boy Who Never Asked for Help. The second is The Boy Who Almost Got the Help He Needed.
Hear Jay’s Story
In my work at This Is My Brave, I mostly stick with version one of Jay’s story. Recently, I sat down with Dr. Margaret Rutherford on The Selfwork Podcast, to talk about version two of Jay’s story.
While Jay’s death was a complete shock to our family, he had revealed his state of mind to a friend. That friend reported Jay’s ideation to his school counselor who ultimately chose not to pass on the warning to us or to any other authority at the school. Three weeks after the friend exchanged emails with the counselor, Jay took his own life.
Suicide is the second leading cause of death for teens. When a threat of suicide is suspected or even suggested, it’s something that ought to be explored thoroughly, even if it seems unlikely. The risk of inaction is too great.
Jay’s story is a cautionary tale for anyone who loves or works with teens.
Resources
If you or someone you know needs help, reach out 24/7 to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing or texting 988 or using chat services at suicidepreventionlifeline.org to connect to a trained crisis counselor. You can also get crisis text support via the Crisis Text Line by texting STORY to 741741.
For additional help, please visit our resource page.
