Choose Yourself

By Becky LeBlanc

I don’t know why people do what they do.

I do know that mental health issues look incredibly different from the outside looking in.

I know that when my husband Joe was depressed, some people mistook that for rudeness. He wasn’t perky, didn’t make eye contact and not because of the blindness or care to follow conversations. It wasn’t rudeness though – he was saving himself.

I know that sometimes crippling anxiety can look like people cancelling plans last minute or not showing up for a party they invited you to.

I know that psychosis/confusing thoughts can be brewing on the inside of people looking completely fine.

I know that addressing mental / emotional health can be time consuming and really inconvenient.

  • It can look like a person at your work taking an unexpected leave of absence in the middle of a really important project.
  • It can look like cancelling all plans for the next 6 months.
  • It can look like letting friends and family down unexpectedly and without a “good enough” explanation.

But explaining deep internal struggle to those who haven’t experienced it isn’t easy.

Especially when you are feeling your absolute worst.

Reactions can be cruel.

From the outside looking in, it can look like poor decision making or laziness or apathy but trust me it feels 1000X worse than it looks. You are likely seeing just the tip of the saddest darkest iceberg.

I don’t know how Simone Biles came to the decision to drop out of the Olympics…she hasn’t called me to explain.

I do think sometimes people need to do really inconvenient things to save themselves.

And I want people in my life to know that if you need to do something inconvenient to save yourself, if you need to “let me down” to save yourself, I support you one hundred percent.

Choose yourself. I will get over it. The world will get over it.

About the Author:

Becky LeBlanc originally shared her story of being a caregiver to a spouse who survived a mental health crisis on our stage in 2017. Becky and Joe LeBlanc performed together in our Boston 2017 This Is My Brave Show. They celebrated their 23rd wedding anniversary this year.