Last year, I was both nervous and excited as I booked my Listen To Your Mother audition. I prepared for three weeks. Timed my piece, trimmed it down. My best friend and her husband helped me practice and listened to my essay probably fifty times over a bottle of red wine one night. I was confident going in, but couldn't stop the flood of self-doubt as I drove home from my audition and waited the week and a half to hear whether or not I made the cast.
I wasn’t selected as a cast member, but I did gain two new friends in the Producer and Director who had auditioned me. These two talented women supported my writing and my desire to open up about living with mental illness. They boosted my confidence and encouraged me to keep going. To keep telling my story.
And look where their support has led me.
I’m not going to lie, I was devastated by the rejection. There were tears. There was moping. There was a definite bruise to my ego. It took a great deal of courage on my part to prepare my essay and to ready my heart for the pulling of emotion my words triggered as my throat found my voice and I read it aloud. And then I wasn’t picked.
What I want you to know is that I wouldn’t change a thing if I could go back.
Making the decision to sign up for a try-out, putting myself on display to be judged, testing my anxiety to see if it would take over or if I’d find a way to steady myself. When I look back on that day and all the preparation that went into my five minutes at the audition, I feel nothing but pride.
I grew stronger as a writer, as an advocate, as a person no longer afraid to fail.
The experience of putting myself out there reinforced what I already knew to be true. If we never take risks, we will never reap the rewards. We can’t master that perfect dive until we crash into the pool, water slapping our skin as we belly flop twenty times. We only grow when we truly challenge ourselves and face our fears head on.
If you’re reading this and have been considering auditioning for This Is My Brave, I want to encourage you to push yourself. Draft that essay, belt out that song, pen that poem that has been hidden deep inside of your soul. Get it down on paper and read it, tweak it, re-write it until you can feel all the raw emotion which when verbalized, brings you to the brink of tears or makes you throw your head back in a fit of laughter.
You can do this. Your story will make a difference in the lives of so many people. And we can’t wait to hear it.
Click here for info on how to schedule your audition.