Hear Me Roar, Damara Hoskins

***TRIGGER WARNING. This post contains potentially traumatic subject matter. Please use discretion.*** Free, I am happy

Peace is my best friend

Often I’m super giggly

I’ll stay this way to the end

 

Joyful, full of glee

Living in serenity

There’s only a bit of

Darkness present

Still keeping on

I’m happy, just shy

Really, I’m okay

Maybe though, I’m off

Slightly slipping

 

The light is still there

But something has changed, I’m off

I don’t feel like me

 

It’s like I’m broken

Torn and deflating

The pain is almost numbing

Where has that peace gone?

 

Am I monster, ugly, maybe worthless?

I can’t know; I never have.

I’m told the opposite,

But what is the truth?

Am I really somebody?

Or is it just life, playing

Another cruel joke on me

 

Ah, it’s back again

That blissful light that saves me

Keeps me existing

 

Maybe, just maybe it will stay

I’ll remain happy, stable

That nothing will fade,

Leaving me alone in

Utter darkness

 

Of course it wouldn’t

Alone I am again

Battling with my soul

Living, but dying slowly

Collapsing from the inside out

I’m fading, slipping away

I cannot be helped

 

Where did I go wrong?

How did I end up this way?

Lifeless, struggling

 

I wish for simple things

A hug, for those times I need it

And nothing else

Hope, for when everything

Comes crashing down

Around me

Love when I feel nothing

But pain

Peace, when my world is

Ruled by chaos

Most importantly though

I wish for the words

“I’m here for you”

When I’m lost and alone

 

Life sucks, like really

It’s just that simple, I swear

I only fall, hard

 

But what did I do?

I’ve done nothing but

Suffer

Yet still it

Keeps coming, tearing

Me down

Ripping me apart

Destroying me

 

Please just let me be

Let all this chaos be done

I want to be dead

 

The dark is my friend

I welcome its embrace

I don’t stop it from

Laying cold, numbing

Yet burning kisses along

My arms, my thighs

 

I lay down, alone

Allowing it to

Swallow me, cocoon me

In a sheath of blackness

 

Slowly it stops

My thoughts, my feelings

They cease, it has happened

Finally I have succumbed and

It Is Beautiful

 

Blood drops are red

Lifeless lips are blue

You’re not alone

If you wish this were you

 

Pain is all around

But in the midst of it all

I find myself freed

 

STOP!

Inhale, exhale

What have I been doing?

Inhale, exhale

My life has meaning

I’m worth it, all of it

Inhale...big exhale

I deserve the happiness

The peace, joy; all of it

It’s mine to take, embrace

Reside in

 

That moment happened

When I looked in the mirror, and

Saw something beautiful, perfect

That I saw myself as irreplaceable

Unique, rare

Where nothing, nothing can stop my smile

My smile that is genuine

 

In that moment, I remembered I was worth it

That I still am worth it

People care about me and for me

They need me, almost more than

I need them

 

I’m wanted, desired

Necessary for

The balance of others,

For family and friends

I have a place in this world

A place that I will not give up

 

I am alive, I am strong

I have overcome

I am NOT a victim

 

Hear Me Roar, loudly

Feel my inner strength beating

Nothing can stop me

~~~~~~~~~~

this is my brave pictureDamara is 18 years old and never thought she'd be here today. Yet here she stands, alive and free. A stronger person because of her past.