My Story, a Tale of Two Jens
I thought it was about time to share my story of recovery with the world and must give credit to the Co-founder of This Is My Brave, Jennifer Marshall for this recovery story. In the throws of a devastating 4th episode of major depression I reached out to Jennifer by email after reading her own story of recovery on OC87 Recovery Diaries back in April of 2015. After reading her story I admittedly did a deep dive into finding out more about her. Our stories and our families sounded so similar and I wanted to understand just how she had gotten to such a healthy place in her recovery journey.
We are both Jen and I know that is just a coincidence but come on how great is that?! We both struggled with the notion of taking medication. Her in an attempt to keep her unborn children safe and for myself a lack of understanding of the value of medication in a balanced approach to mental health. Since a young age I had always heard conflicting ideas on the use and misuse of psychiatric medication.
We also came from supportive families and had a solid group of loyal friends that were there to help us along in our journeys. On top of that, we were both University educated, participated in athletics to some degree and by my own admittance are both a couple of over-achievers. For myself, the over-achieving is as a result of imposter syndrome, in which I never really feel like I am on an equal playing field with others and always having to prove my worth. Hopefully, Jennifer does not have those same inclinations.
So long story short, in my who-knows-how-long email I highlighted every single bout of depression, all the shame I had about my mental health condition. I even went as far as to list the myriad of medications I had tried to no avail. No pun intended, I was depressed and desperate for some encouragement and advice. I sent the email off and hoped that she would respond but braced myself in case she did not, because well you know, she is superwoman and has a lot on her plate. Looking back, I feel bad that Jennifer had to endure that long-winded email confession. It was melodramatic to say the least but to my surprise Jennifer responded to my email within days. On April 26th, 2015, Jennifer responded with one of the most heartfelt emails I had ever received, in which she encouraged me in my recovery and even hinted for me to one day share my story with This Is My Brave. The one thing that she said to me that really struck a chord was, ” It takes time though, so try to give yourself some grace in the learning process.”
This woman got me! I felt more seen and heard than I had ever before in my life and throughout my recovery journey I continued to follow the work of This Is My Brave and Jennifer through social media and her own personal site. The insights she provided through her blog posts helped me gather the pieces of my former life and create a new and happier future for myself. I can now say that five years after my last relapse I have found balance in my life. I am still and over-achiever and an over-extender at times but with Jennifer’s voice playing in my head most days, I allow myself some grace in my struggles and take my time working through the hard days. There are still hard days, but I must say they are definitely outnumbered by the good ones.
Just this past December I reached out to Jennifer again to give her an update on my recovery five years in and was happy to tell her about my amazing life and career aspirations for the future. For those of you that are interested, I am now working as an Itinerant Teacher for Students who are Blind and Visually Impaired pursuing a 4th University degree. I am currently completing a Masters of Education in Counseling Psychology with the hope of becoming a provincial Counselor for Students who are Blind or Visually Impaired. I am also hoping to open a small private practice for those seeking disability specific counseling and I have Jennifer to thank for this. I needed to share my story so she could yet again hear how her story has changed and impacted the lives of so many with mental health conditions.
Sincerely,
The “other” Jen
About the Author:
My name is Jenny-Rachel Lind and I am an Itinerant Teacher for students who are Blind or Visually Impaired with the Atlantic Provinces Special Education Authority in Nova Scotia, Canada. I have documented my journey towards recovery with the help of Co-Founder Jennifer Marshall’s influence in my story above. It it my hope that this story sheds light on how far reaching the work of This Is My Brave is and how Jenn’s story helped another Jen in a completely different country start her own recovery journey.
