Reaching a “Life Worth Living”
My journey started in 1993 when I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 2 and experienced my first hospitalization. There have been quite a few hospitalizations over the years. With no support from my spouse and parents I found myself swimming in the whirlpools and depths of my own mind. In those early years I was very silent about my illness and only a few friends were aware of what I was going through.
2011-2014 were two other blows to my stability. My mother’s declining health and subsequent death and the death of my spouse in a car accident. There was another string of hospitalizations as crisis intervention.
A few years ago, I was referred to participate in Dialectical Behavior Group Therapy (DBT). At first, I was skeptical and resistant. I could not see how this could possibly help in my everyday life.
DBT is divided into four parts, Mindfulness, Radical Acceptance, Distress Tolerance and Interpersonal skills. The therapy’s goal is to teach you skills to assist yourself in managing your own emotions and thoughts. Overtime, the skills, therapy, medication and group support have been the foundation leading me forward. I found greater understanding of my illness and moved to a more positive outlook and not just giving into the depression. One of my longtime challenges throughout my journey has been not to stuff my emotions until I am in crisis. With the DBT skills I have learned to recognize when I am stuffing and seek help before I have reached crisis. It has been very fulfilling to encourage other members of the group and as they progress and believe I may have helped them in a small way on their journey. I have been very open at work about my illness and experiences such as about hospitalizations, ECT and therapy for quite a few years. That was my first experience in sharing and it was scary at first. I believe I have helped a lot of coworkers get a better understanding of mental health issues especially perceptions of being an inpatient.
Since I have been participating in DBT I found that sharing my success with the skills especially Mindfulness has personally aided some of my coworkers which has been especially rewarding. In the last 2½ years there have been no hospitalizations. I have done a lot of work with the support of friends, the DBT group and my treatment team to reach where I am today. I became very open telling others about my Bipolar Disorder and my journey.
As I began to openly speak about my experience with the Hospital, ECT and DBT I found it empowering to help change perceptions. I saw an add in the newspaper about auditions in my area for This Is My Brave. As I learned more about the organization I was immediately drawn to the mission. I did something I thought I would never be strong enough to do. I auditioned. Although I was not part of the cast, the experience made me believe that I could share my story and success on a bigger level.
I have been making quilts for many years. In the last year or so Inspirational quilt patterns have come to the forefront in quilting circles. I have completed two inspirational quilts. This second quilt when I saw the pattern, one of my first thoughts were of This is my Brave organization. It expresses positive things I have again been able to integrate in my life as I have found a Life Worth Living.
About the Author: My name is Lois Abbott. I live in Hampstead Maryland. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 2 in 1993. I am a senior citizen however I still ride horses which has been very therapeutic. I am also an avid quilter and have been sewing since I was a little girl.
