Mental Health Gift Ideas for the Holidays!
Oh, the holiday season… If you struggle with a mental illness, it can feel anything but merry. When it’s a struggle to simply get out of bed, everyone else’s cheer – real or imagined, can add another layer of misery to life.
The holidays bring with them so many expectations. You’re supposed to be at your best at work and family parties. You’re expected to find the time and energy in an already busy life to decorate, send cards, make Christmas treats, and buy and wrap gifts. If you have kids, you feel compelled to bring them to see Santa, wait in a long line, and get a picture of them smiling in his lap.
TV, social media, and the covers of magazines all sell us picture perfect holiday myths. These expectations contrast glaringly with real life experience. You are probably going to eat too many Christmas cookies and your cute holiday outfit may be tight. The cat may knock over the menorah as it’s being lit. Your relatives, who barely get along during the rest of the year, are probably going to feud over politics, food, and how to celebrate. Junior is likely to scream bloody murder at the sight of Santa. Your credit card bill is liable to cause agita come January. Does any of this sound familiar?
Despite the chaos, you can find moments of beauty during the holidays. This is especially true if you keep your expectations low and take care of yourself. Try to exercise semi-regularly and go outside, even if it means bundling up. Get whatever sunshine is available during these short, dark days. Spend time with supportive, loving people. Do things that are meaningful to you. Limit obligations. Practice smiling and saying “no” into a mirror until you can comfortably say it to your mother-in-law, the PTO president, and perfume sprayers at the mall.
Doing these things should help, but being a therapist, I’m obliged to state that if you are suicidal, homicidal or any kind of “cidal,” call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. Asking for help when it is needed is the ultimate form of bravery. The holidays are exceptionally tough for a lot of folks. You are not alone. Getting help can be the difference between life and death. We want to you here with us next season.
On a much brighter note, here are some suggestions for gifts to give yourself or someone you love who struggles with mental illness:
A Massage or Spa Gift Certificate
Personally, I love massages, facials, pedicures, etc.! I find touch to be relaxing and healing. A good massage therapist makes me feel like I’m being cared for. As a psychotherapist, I take care of others on a daily basis, so this is deeply appreciated. Both holiday and everyday stress melt away during at the spa. It feels like an energy reboot. That said, not everybody enjoys it. So if this is for someone else, check first to be sure.
A Light Box
Light therapy can be very helpful if you or a loved one struggles with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) or other types of depression. Light boxes range from around $50 to several hundred dollars. According to the Mayo Clinic, typical recommended intensity is 10,000 lux of light. Consult with a physician or psychiatrist before purchasing or using. For individuals with bipolar disorder, a light box may be contraindicated as it may produce mania in some people.
Light boxes do take a commitment to use. Plan on sitting in front of a light box for a minimum of twenty to thirty minutes daily during dark winter months for maximum effectiveness. I used one when I lived in Boston and found that it helped. Do your research. There’s plenty of useful information online.
An Invitation/Kind Ear
Working in a mental health clinic, I found that many of my clients were quite lonely. Mental illness and addiction can be quite isolating. If this sounds like someone you know, an invitation for coffee, lunch, or a walk, may be a needed and much welcomed gift. A large part of the healing process happens by simply actively listening and offering support. In particular, the elderly often struggle alone. Be the one to reach out. It may mean the world to them.
A Journal or Art Materials
Some people find that journaling is very helpful in working through and managing emotions. A journal with an inspiring quote or beautiful cover could be a terrific gift – as can different types of art materials. I’ve found many folks with mental illness to be very creative. Support and encourage them in finding and using their voice. Being heard, even if only by a piece of paper or lump of clay, can be very healing.
A DVD of a Funny Movie/Comedy TV Series
Laughter produces endorphins! Encourage humor by giving or watching a DVD of a funny movie or comedy series. It’s hard to be sad or anxious when you’re watching old “I Love Lucy” videos. Lucy and Ethel on the chocolate factory assembly line crack me up every time. Popcorn is optional.
A Donation in Their Name
Every year I give a donation in honor of my friend Stacy to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). NAMI has helped her considerably with coping with her bipolar disorder. One year, my clinic director gave a donation to This is My Brave in honor of my performance. It was incredibly moving. Consider making a donation in someone’s name to a mental health nonprofit. You will be recognizing them while helping others. It’s a win-win!
A Jar of Memories and Love
Purchase or repurpose a glass jar with a top. Cut up strips of paper, colorful paper if you have it. On each strip of paper, write something special about your giftee. It could be something you appreciate about them, a memory of something you did together, a time they made you smile, etc. Create a bunch of these “you are special to me” strips and put them in the jar.
I did this for my mother years ago and she still talks about it. Excellent for anyone, but particularly beneficial for folks who are struggling with depression and self-esteem issues. The recipient may be emotionally overwhelmed at first by this gift. Yet your thoughtfulness may mean more than you’ll ever know. A loving letter works well, too. Opening your heart to someone can be priceless.
Wishing you and yours a mentally healthy holiday season full of self-care, kindness, reasonable expectations and humor. Oh, and dark chocolate, preferably European. Before or after a massage. I’m not picky.
About the Author
Susan Black Allen is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT) in Oceanside, California. She works at Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton as a New Parent Support Home Visitor. Her teenage daughter Emmy will likely be in therapy for the rest of her life, because at age 9, Susan told her that Santa wasn’t real. Husband Bruce thankfully makes a mean Christmas dinner. Without him, it would probably consist of rice and cereal. Cats Mr. Noodles and Princess are experts at knocking things over, including the menorah, and regularly leave “presents” outside their litter box.
